Let's Talk About The Raid: Redemption

Rating: I GOT MY ASS KICKED AND I JUST WATCHED THE MOVIE!

For the first twenty minutes or so I was already composing this review. The way the tactical squad infiltrates the head honcho's complex, and the ensuing firefight, were very reminiscent of a Brazilian movie I love called Elite Squad. Elite Squad, and it's sequel, contain fast, violent, pulse pounding action that sneaks in between interesting character conflicts and fantastic drama. The fact that The Raid: Redemption appeared to be copying the best parts of Elite Squad (the sequel of which is the top grossing Brazilian movie of all time. But who gives a fuck about this little bit of trivia? This is AMERICA!) wasn't a negative in my book. To me, it was a perk. As long as they stuck to the formula, it was likely I was going to be entertained.

Then something wonderful happened.The main character found himself helping a comrade in a hallway and he didn't have a gun. The hallway began to fill with thugs and our hero pulled out what might as well have been a magic wand...

I cast, stabbed in the face!

The previous gun fights became brutal, but once this little film saver appeared, I saw things I thought I'd never seen put to film. Fast, hard throbbing, bloody fun...but enough about my penis, the knife fights were ethereal! To describe them would take words that don't exist in English.

Maybe Elvish?

Don't think that the fighting goes down hill after the first spectacle. They increase in sheer awesomeness as the movie goes on. And I don't mean 'awesome' like, "We got pizza?!? Awesome!!!" or "The vomit didn't get behind the toilet? Awesome!!!"; I mean it with the literal intention of the word. I was in awe.

Not since Centurion have I seen such a display of glorified violence. No one dies pretty. By the end, if you try to tell someone how amazing the bloodshed was, you may accidentally make them think you're a serial killer. No worries though, just punch them in the face!

Good discussion!

You will feel amped. Watching this film is like chugging 12 energy drinks back to back, then killing a bag of pixie sticks. It should come with a warning. Not just for you, but for everyone else as well. Once the last blow lands, you'll either want to run an obstacle course or fight the next person who walks by.

I saw the same movie you did sonny! bring it!

You may have notice that I didn't mention the plot. That's because...who cares? You've seen this movie before, you just haven't seen it like this! Imagine Romeo and Juliet...with SHARKS! That's what this movie is like!

Some guy makes a promise to his father look for someone during his next mission. That mission happens to be to take down a major crime boss who houses criminals. Have you guessed who he's looking for and what that person's up to yet? Then you have the Lieutenant who set up the mission, but SURPRISE! No one knows the team is supposed to be there! Have you guessed why yet? 'Cause you know the answer.

This movie is like a ballet, or more appropriately a porno. Did you go to see Swan Lake (Ass Bandits 4) because you wanted to see a riveting story? No! You saw it because you wanted to see the graceful dancing of the performers (filthy, filthy DVDA). You went to see this film because you wanted to see someone get their neck dropped onto the bottom of a shattered door. You wanted to see someone get a clip emptied into their face! You wanted to see a fat guy drop a filing cabinet on top of some dude (it happens)!!! There's no need to feel guilty. I had that feeling too.

Final thoughts: If you want to see superviolence and a cross between Tony Jaa style fighting and wrestling, then you own it to yourself to check this one out.